A Brief History of Soylent
And how the rich invest their money
Dear Readers,
It is Thursday my dudes.
A friend of mine recently turned my brain into soup with the passive quip, “If I didn’t have to spend time eating food, I wouldn’t.”
As my well-spoken mother-in-law often says, “I don’t have a chip for that.”
This food-abhorrent friend of mine went on to explain that he’d been trying Soylent, the viral, powdered, complete nutrition platform designed to do away with the pesky need to stop what you’re doing and consume sustenance.
The origin story of Soylent begins in Silicon Valley, in an overcrowded apartment of software engineers that were attempting a tech startup with meager funding.
Their plan to create inexpensive cell phone towers was failing, and with little funding left their attention turned to budgetary concerns. The biggest burden, they found, was food. Their diets consisted of ramen, corn dogs, frozen Costco quesadillas, the McDonald’s dollar menu, and Little Caesar’s, and who would have guessed it — they felt like the pits.
One roommate, resenting the very fact that he had to eat at all, began to research the nutrients required for survival. He developed a list of 35 nutrients, bought them all in powdered form, dumped them into a blender with water, and subsisted on the resulting gray, viscous smoothies.
Now let me be clear, I admire the pragmaticism, but I have a deep mistrust of anyone who can eschew the simple pleasures of food to spend more time testing the structural integrity of their keyboard with fevered coding.
I’m not at all surprised that software engineers developed Soylent — it’s as if their constant companionship with computers has sped up their evolutionary processes to no longer derive satisfaction from the sensory-rich act of eating. Man becomes machine.
I also learned that the primary founder of Soylent has taken his pragmatism so far as to throw his dirty clothes in the freezer for a few hours, in order to remove the odor. I’m quite certain running them through a full laundry cycle would be faster.
Generally, I have no issue with Soylent. If anything, I’m fascinated that some of us can be so enchanted by the end-to-end culinary experience, while others can be apathetic to the extent that they’ll drink their nutrients via a tasteless sludge.
But as I read through Soylent’s ‘About Us’ page, I came across one damning line: “Their hypothesis: Food can be simplified for the better.”
Two thoughts:
How dare they.
“…for the better”???? How does one define better in this case?
Dear readers, clearly, I don’t get it. And instead of wasting your time with more of my jilted rants, let’s look at some recipes that celebrate texture, varied tastes, and the process of preparing your food:
ZUCCHINI CARBONARA
SMOKY SUMMER SALAD WITH LIME-CRUSTED SALMON
BLACK BEAN TACOS
FROM THE KITCHEN
Speaking of tacos, the Comestible Kitchen was graced with my legacy in taco form this week:
These flank steak tacos are marinated with a wild and potentially superfluous mix of lime juice, orange juice, olive oil, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, and apple cider vinegar.
Whether it’s a culinary faux pas or not, the resulting steak is delicious. A certified meat treat, if you will.
I made my own corn tortillas (which I still don’t think I’ve ever done correctly), topped them with an onion, lime, and cilantro mixture, gave a sprinkle of cotija cheese, and finished each with a healthy glug of Valentina hot sauce.
Full recipe coming soon :)
FOOD FACTS
Tasters of Soylent often compare it to Cream of Wheat and “my grandpa’s Metamucil.” The more I think about this the more I think I need to do a Soylent review. Stay tuned.
The oldest fast food chain in America is actually White Castle, founded in 1921. I thought they went out of business. Oops.
Celebrities seem to enjoy investing their millions in fast food restaurants: Chris Brown owns 14 Burger Kings while Magic Johnson owns 30, Peyton Manning owns 30 Papa John’s, and Shaq owns 155 Five Guys locations. Got some money to throw around? Buy a franchise.
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