Vietnamese Food, Defined
And Elvis Presley's favorite grub
Dear Readers,
In a stunning change of heart reminiscent of a bipolar, tantrum-throwing toddler, the once irascible and attentive “casual recipe seekers” of Reddit came to my aid this week.
My tale begins with innocently posting a recipe for Vietnamese-style meatballs on the subreddit r/GifRecipes. I intentionally labeled my recipe “Vietnamese-style” rather than a wholesale “Vietnamese” to avoid the ire of the Viet-cuisine historians I knew to be lurking in the subreddit.
Woe to me, dear reader, my efforts were not enough.
Like sharks to blood, the aforementioned culinary historians immediately pointed out that my recipe wasn’t authentic, shouldn’t be labeled “Vietnamese”, and suggested better recipes to make should I wish to educate myself and discontinue appropriating an entire culture.
I expected this, but still.
The irony is that many of the suggested recipes for more authentic Vietnamese meatballs differed from my own by 1 or 2 ingredients. Take this Bun Cha recipe, for example.
The only difference is my addition of mint, and partial use of ground beef, rather than whole use of ground pork.
In a previously-unimaginable turn of events and show of mercy, the vox populi of culinary Reddit recognized this hair-splittery and turned in my support. Here are some notable comments:
“This sub is insufferable sometimes. Not everything has to be 100% authentic recipe from some old lady in the country the dish comes from to taste good. It specifically says “Vietnamese-style” in the title.”
“lol it's really annoying looking through these comments. Nobody explaining what makes them not "vietnamese-style", but linking recipes that have 80% overlap with OPs version. Someone saying "the secret ingredient is respect". The heck does that mean (they've never heard of fusion apparently)? Don't know how these people can type when they're so high on their own farts.” (Someone actually said that the secret ingredient to Vietnamese cooking was respect. No, I don’t know what that means.)
I asked what would be a better title for this recipe and got the very tongue-in-cheek reply, ‘"Vietnamese**-Style**" is probably what you want. Oh, wait...’
My sincerest apologies if you could care less what pot of internet drama soup I’m stirring up. I’m just plum tickled about it, probably to a gratuitous extent.
This squabbling made me realize I don’t actually know the defining characteristics of Vietnamese cuisine, and I should. We’ll take a look at that in a later section so we can all learn from my mistakes :)
In the meantime, here are some recipes that have nothing to do with Vietnamese food:
PANZANELLA
GARLICKY TOMATO SOUP WITH SMASHED WHITE BEANS
BEEF SHWARMA
FROM THE KITCHEN
Great success was once again achieved in the Comestible Kitchen this week, with the creation of the staple of all staple weeknight dishes.
If I were to be commemorated by a meal, I feel this is a worthy candidate:
I generally refer to this haphazard amalgamation of delicious vegetables and chicken as a Mediterranean bowl, but that’s likely grossly inauthentic.
Whatever it is, there’s a happy helping of turmeric and garlic spiced rice on the bottom, which is topped with citrus-marinated chicken, feta, avocado, za’atar chickpeas, tomatoes, cukes, pickled onion, and a generous coating of halal cart white sauce.
I’m pretty sure this meal had a lot to do with convincing my now-wife to date me again after we had broken up once :)
Full recipe coming soon!
WHAT THE HECK IS VIETNAMESE FOOD
Vietnamese cuisine lays claim to many heavy hitters of the culinary foodscape: pho, banh mi sandwiches, and bun cha, to name a few.
So what makes Vietnamese food, Vietnamese?
The most concise definition I can find describes five taste elements that can be found throughout Vietnamese cooking:
Fish sauce
Soy sauce
Rice
Fresh herbs
Fruits and veggies
That doesn’t leave room for interpretation at all, right? (Wink wink, nudge nudge)
Another definition describes Vietnamese cooking as, “…done with minimal use of oil and dairy and relies more on the light, fresh flavors of vegetables.” As a result of this, Vietnamese cuisine is considered one of the healthiest cuisines in the world.
What have we learned?
Pretty much nothing.
There are authentic dishes to every regional cuisine that will have purists yelling for your disembowelment if you take creative liberties. If that isn’t the dichotomous nature of cooking wrapped up in a tight little bow, I don’t know what is.
FOOD FACTS
The banh mi sandwich has its roots in the French colonization of Vietnam, which began with missionaries in the 19th century and didn’t end until 1954. That crusty French baguette is a surefire way to tell where the French have indulged in a bit of imperialist colonization.
Elvis was known for his love of a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich, which is served at Graceland, the Presley family estate-turned tourist attraction.
Pho is also postulated to have its roots in French colonization. When the French occupation got hungry for the steaks of home and slaughtered a swath of cattle, resourceful Vietnamese cooks used the scraps to create the signature pho broths.
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